The Flatmates Episode 31-35

Episode 31: The photocopier

John:      Hey, Helen, look what I've found on the photocopier - the answers for next
              week's test!
Helen:   The answers? You'd better hand them in to the office.
John:     You're kidding, aren't you? I think you should wise up.
Helen:   What do you mean?
John:     We've both been struggling with the work this term; here's our chance to pass
              with flying colours. If I were you, I 'd make the most of it.
Helen:   What? Cheat? We can't do that!
John:     Why not? Do you want to fail? Your parents won't like it if you do.
Helen:   No, I don't want to fail. But, if we get caught.
John:     We won't get caught. Come on, what do you say?
Helen:   Well, I'm not sure..

Episode 32: Baby talk

Dr.Laver:     Okay, well in this room we monitor the babies overnight. Now, the
                    important thing is to talk to them.
Alice:          Talk to them? What do I say?
Dr.Laver:    Well, watch me. Hello, you are a handsome boy aren't you? You're gorgeous.
                    Now you try. Speak to the baby next to you.
Alice:          Oh, okay. Hello little one! Who's a handsome boy then?
Dr.Laver:     Erm, that's a girl.
Alice:          Oh! Who's a pretty little girl? What a lovely smile! Aren't you lovely?
                    Oh, oh, oh!
Dr.Laver:    Excellent, excellent - you're a natural. You'll make a very good nurse
                   here and a lovely mother one day I'm sure.

Episode 33: The dripping tap

Michal:     Hey Tim, what are you doing?
Tim:          I'm fixing this tap. I can't put up with that drip-drip noise anymore.
Michal:     Have you turned off the water?
Tim:          I told you. That's what I'm working on.
Michal:     I mean the main water supply? Have you cut it off?
Tim:         No, I haven't. Stop worrying and let me get on with this.
Michal:    I don't think you should carry on doing that!
Tim:         It's okay, just one more turn of the spanner.
Michal:    I really think you should stop.
Tim:        Oh, go away Michal. You're putting me off. One more turn and then ...
                aaaaaargh! Oh no! Michal! Help! Stop the water! Aaaaaargh!

Episode 34: Helen to the rescue

Michal:      I told you so!
Tim:          Hurry up, I'm getting soaked!
Helen:       What's going on here? What a mess! Dad'll kill me.
Michal:     It's the water. Tim didn't turn off it before trying to fix the tap.
Helen:       Honestly Tim! You're as thick as two short planks sometimes. Michal, turn
                  the water off. Tim, give me the spanner. I'll soon have this sorted.
Tim:          What shall I do?
Helen:       Get the mop, of course! I want this floor as dry as a bone now! Dad's coming
                  round later to check the flat.
Tim:          Is he?
Tim and Michal:  Oh no!
Helen:       No, I'm just winding you up!

Episode 35: A letter from HR

Tim:             Dear Mr Hunter,
                     Vacancy reference: Assistant manager
                     Further to your application for the above position, I am pleased to be able
                     to invite you to attend an interview.
                     Please report to the HR office on Tuesday 11th March at 1 pm.
                     A job specification is enclosed.
                     If you have any access needs in order to complete your job or be able to
                     attend the interview, please let me know as soon as possible.
                     Finally, it would be most helpful if you could confirm whether or not you
                     will be able to attend.

                     Yours sincerely,
                     Jennifer Smith
                     Recruitment Advisor

Well, Kitty, 'Assistant manager', what do you think of that?

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The Flatmates Episode 26-30

Episode 26: Planning a meal

Michal:        Alice was only helping me!
Helen:          I'm sorry Michal, I didn't mean to fly off the handle. What's wrong?
Michal:        I was just telling Alice I wanted to eat better but that I didn't know how to cook any of
                     my favourite dishes.
Helen:          Mm, let's think about this. I know! Chinese New Year is coming up soon. Why don't we
                     make a special Chinese-Polish dinner together! We'll both do research, find typical
                     recipes, buy all the ingredients.
Michal:        And cook a meal together! You do the main course, and I'll make the pudding!
Helen:          Sounds like a perfect second date, don't you think?

Episode 27: The hungry cat

Tim:         I don't believe it! Kitty's just eaten my dinner. I was putting the kettle on and I turned round
                 and there she was, eating my chicken. That cat's a pain in the neck.
Alice:       Oh calm down.
Tim:         It drives me mad! I'm starving, I've been slaving away in that dusty old stockroom all day. I
                 hate work just now and then this happens! The cat's got to go or be put down.
Helen:      Don't be horrible. You can buy something else to eat.
Tim:         We're not all as rich as you, you know, daddy's girl!
Helen:      How dare you Tim! I didn't eat your chicken. You drive me up the wall sometimes.
Alice:       Hey guys, chill out.

Episode 28: The year of the dog

Alice:        Happy Chinese New Year Helen! What are you doing?
Helen:       Reading about our Chinese astrology signs.
Alice:        Oh do tell.
Helen:       Well, I was born in '86 so I'm a tiger. I have an air of authority and am courageous but I'm
                  also prone to emotional outbursts and react poorly under stress.
Alice:        Oh, what am I?
Helen:       You are 3 years older than me so you're a pig.
Alice:        A pig? Charming!
Helen:       No, it's different in Chinese culture. A Chinese pig is magnanimous and highly intelligent.
                  You're a perfectionist but venomous if you're crossed.
Alice:        It's all true! What about Michal?
Helen:      Well, he's 21 so he's an ox. He's dependable, methodical, honest, unbiased but introverted
                  too.
Alice:        Ooh, so does that bode well for you two or not?

Episode 29: A secret admirer

Helen:      It's Valentine's Day. There's a card for you Alice. Who is it from?
Alice:       Give me a minute. Let me read it first...It says:
                 "Oh Nurse Alice. You're the queen of my palace.
                 I don't know if you care for me. But I must tell my feelings free.
                 Who knows what's in store. Do you find me an awful bore?
                 Are we really poles apart? Or could you nurse me and my heart?
                 Your CPR breathes life anew. May mine fill you with passion true?"
                 Oh, isn't that romantic?
Helen:      Yes, but who's it from?
Alice:        It's a valentine, there's no signature.
Helen:      But who do you think it's from? There are quite a few clues in the card.

Episode 30: Career decisions

Tim:       Hi Alice, what are you reading?
Alice:     Oh. It's about maternity and baby care. They've asked me to change wards.
Tim:       But you love working in the emergency wards.
Alice:     Yes, well.I want to work with Dr. Laver.
Tim:       Dr. Laver?
Alice:     He specialises in looking after children. He's a great doctor, really friendly with the patients.
Tim:       I see. And he's not bad looking, I suppose?
Alice:     Don't be ridiculous! I'm thinking about my career.
Tim:       But you want your own children. Don't you think it'd be horrible looking after other people's
               kids?
Alice:     Yeah, that's the problem. So I haven't decided whether to take the job or not.

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The Flatmates Episode 21-25

Episode 21: Tim's treat
Tim:    Hiya folks. How's everyone this fine evening?
Alice:   Exhausted! I had to give someone mouth-to-mouth for the first time today!
Helen:  That's so exciting, congratulations! You must feel really proud.
Alice:   Yes I do. How are you Helen?
Helen:  I'm tired, I've been staring at finance textbooks all day.
Michal: I think my head is going to expand from all my studying too.
Tim:     Well, how about a drink at the pub? My treat! Would that make you two feel less worn-out?
Helen:  You paying for all of us? That's not like you.
Alice:   What's come over you?
Tim:     Well let's just say I got a special bonus at work.

Episode 22: Christmas lunch
Alice:    OK, who's for turkey and all the trimmings?
All:        Me!
Helen:   Let's pull the crackers first! Michal pull one with me. Alice, you pull one with Tim.
Tim:      OK, here goes!
Helen:   I won!
Tim:      Ah so did I!
Michal: What did you get?
Helen:   A hat, a key-ring and a joke. Are you ready? OK "What do you get if you cross a stereo with
              a refrigerator?"
All:       We don't know!
Helen:  "Cool music!"
Tim:      Ha ha very funny! Right, ready for another one? "What did one dolphin say to the other one?"
All:        We don't know!
Tim:     "You did that on porpoise!"
All:        Awh! Merry Christmas!

Episode 23: New Year's resolutions
Alice:     Oh it's nearly the New Year. Has everyone got their champagne glasses ready? There's still
               time to think about our New Year's resolutions. Tim, you go first.
Tim:      OK, this year I'm going to work really hard and try and get promoted! What about you, cousin
               Michal?
Michal:  I'm going to give up fast food and be much more healthy. Helen?
Helen:    I've got to start really studying. My finals will be here before I know it. Alice?
Alice:     My resolution is to find love. I want to meet someone who's gorgeous, funny and rich! Look
               look, look, it's almost midnight! Let's start counting down: five, four...
All:         Three, two, one. Cheers, cheers. Happy New Year everyone!
Tim:       Marvellous...

Episode 24: The Stockroom
Manager:  Morning Tim, you look very well turned out today.
Tim:          Thank you. It's a new suit for the New Year. I like to look smart for the customers.
Manager:  Yes. Erm, I need to talk to you about something. I'd like you to work in the stockroom.
Tim:           The stockroom! But...
Manager:  I know, I know. But don't forget the jewellery department will need an assistant manager
                   soon.
Tim:           I don't understand.
Manager:  Well, if you do this for me, I'll make sure you get an interview for the position.
Tim:           Right, so if I work in the stockroom...
Manager:  You'll have a chance of promotion. No guarantees of course.
Tim:           Hmm.can I think about it?

Episode 25: Fast food
Alice:    Ooh, what's that smell? Do I detect cheeseburger and fries? Michal, you disappoint me. What
               happened to all your resolve at New Year?
Michal:  I'm trying to give up fast food but it's just so easy and cheap. I'm really beginning to run out
              of money so I can't afford better food and I'm really missing my mum's cooking and I don't
              know how to cook the way she does and I miss my friends and I don't have a job.
Alice:    Oh Michal, don't cry. Come here pet, let me give you a hug.
Helen:   Michal! Alice! What the hell do think you're doing?

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The Flatmates Episode 16-20

Episode 16: A kitchen romance

Michal:  Oh Bronka! I'm so miserable! Alice doesn't want to go out with me.
Helen:    Oh sorry, Michal. Am I interrupting something here?
Michal:  No, no, I'm just pouring my heart out to Bronka.
Helen:    Oh yeah, I found out that Alice gave you a knock-back but it's not the end of the world. There are plenty more fish in the sea you know.
Michal:  Fish? I don't want a fish, I want a date!
Helen:    Well, there's someone right in front of you!
Michal:  You're always too busy studying. You wouldn't go out with a guy like me.
Helen:    Oh wouldn't I? Why don't you ask first!
Michal:  Would you?
Helen:    I'd love to!

Episode 17: Booking tickets*

Agent:   Good morning, London Attractions.
Michal:  I'd like to book two tickets for next week. For River Boat cruise please.
Agent:   OK. When?
Michal:  Next Thuesday.
Agent:   Sorry?
Michal: Thuesday.
Agent:   I'm sorry sir, is that Tuesday the first or Thursday the third?
Michal: Thursday the third.
Agent:   Right, and what time would you like?
Michal:  In an evening.
Agent:   Because it's winter, the last trip is at 7.00. Is that OK?
Michal: Yes thanks.
Agent:  OK, just let me put you on hold for a moment please.
* This episode features competition winner Wesley from Sao Paulo, Brazil as the travel agent.

Episode 18: Emergency

Alice:  Oh it's so quiet tonight! You could hear a pin drop. Gives me a chance to catch up on my reading.
Man:   Quick, quick! Get a doctor!
Alice:  She's just gone for a break. What's the matter?
Man:   I don't know. It's my son. He's stopped breathing.
Alice:  Oh no! Wait a minute, I'll just phone for the doctor.
Man:   There's no time. You have to give him mouth to mouth.
Alice:  But I haven't done it before!
Man:   You haven't done it before?
Alice:   No, not for real. Wait while I find the phone.
Man:    No! No, you must do it now!

Episode 19: Tim's reward

Tim: Hello I'm calling from McCarthy's. I helped you when you were looking at watches the other day.
Customer: Yes?
Tim:   I think I've found something of yours. Have you lost anything?
Customer:   Not that I've noticed. No, nothing seems to be missing.
Tim:   Well, you dropped £150!
Customer:   Really!
Tim:   Yes. Now, how can I return your money?
Customer:   Oh how refreshingly honest! But I think a small reward is in order, don't you?
Tim:     Oh I couldn't.
Customer:   You could. I'm sure you have a pretty young girlfriend who needs to be spoiled.
Tim:    No I don't. I'm single just now.
Customer:   A good looking man like you? I don't believe it!

Episode 20: A date by the river

Helen:   Oh Michal, that river cruise was fantastic.
Michal:  It was lovely seeing all those famous buildings, wasn't it?
Helen:   Yes, Big Ben, the Houses of Parliament and the London Eye all looked so impressive in the winter light, didn't they?
Michal: You look lovely in the winter light too you know.
Helen:   Oh Michal, you're so sweet.
Michal:  It's true. You're beautiful Helen.
Helen:   You're quite a hunk yourself, you know.
Michal:  That might be true but suddenly I'm feeling a little sea-sick.
Helen:   You do look a bit green. You're not going to throw up, are you?
Michal: Oh yes, I don't feel well. I think I'm going to be sick.
Helen:   Was it something I said?

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The Flatmates Episode 11-15

Episode 11: Phoning the landlord

Helen:  Hi, dad it's Helen
Dad:     Hello my dear, how are you?
Helen:  Studying hard as ever, dad. Can I ask you something as our landlord? Our lease says that we're not allowed animals in the flat. Well, is there a way that we could get around that? You see, Alice found this kitten and everyone really wants to keep her.
Dad:    You have a cat in my flat? Oh Helen, why can't you ever obey the rules?
Helen: Oh dad! Please, won't you bend them for me?
Dad:    Well...
Helen: Please!
Dad:    Just this once.
Tim:    Kitty, did you hear what I just heard? She called the landlord "dad". What a dark horse Helen is!

Episode 12: After the film

Michal:  Well that rom-com was much better than I expected. It was really romantic. Thank you.
Alice:     Oh, it was my pleasure.
Michal:  Would you like to do it again - go out on another date with me?
Alice:     Another date? Michal, that wasn't a date we were on there.
Michal:  It wasn't? Oh, I thought it was.
Alice:      No, we're just good friends.
Michal:  Yes, we are good friends and I'd like us to be better friends so I'm going to ask you: would you like to go out with me?

Episode 13: Tim spills the beans

Tim:    So how was the cinema for you two love birds?
Alice:  How many times do I have to say this - that wasn't a date!
Tim:   Whoa, easy tiger! Hey this'll put a smile on your face. Guess who our landlord is?
Alice:  How should I know? We give the money to Helen and she always sends off the cheque.
Tim:    Go on, guess.
Alice:  Tom Cruise, the man in the moon, no idea!
Tim:    It's Helen's dad!
Alice:  Helen's dad! No way! Why would she keep that a secret?
Helen: I'm just putting the kettle on. Anyone fancy a cuppa?

Episode 14: Tim strikes it rich

Tim:    Can I help you madam?
Customer: I'm looking for a man's watch.
Tim:    Well we have a sumptuous selection here: sports, evening, everyday watches. Do you see anything you like?
Customer: Oh, I rather like that one.
Tim:    Impeccable taste, madam. Now, just take it over to the cash till there and they'll wrap it up for you.
Customer: Thank you, goodbye.
Tim:    Goodbye...Oh, you've dropped something madam. Madam! Oh she's gone. Let's see 50, 100, 150 pounds! Well you know what they say Tim, a fool and her money..

Episode 15: A heart-to-heart

Helen:   Hello?
Alice:    Hi Helen.
Helen:  What's up Alice?
Alice:    It's so quiet at work I thought I'd give you a ring. A little bird told me that the landlord is your dad!
Helen:   How did you find out?
Alice:    Never mind about that. Why have you been keeping it a secret for so long?
Helen:   Well because as soon as people know how rich my parents are, they start treating me differently. When you and Tim came to live here I wanted to start afresh so I decided not to tell anyone.
Alice:     Oh Helen you're such a silly goose! I promise, it won't make any difference to us! So no more secrets   OK?
Helen:   OK then.

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The Flatmates Episode 6-10

Episode 6: Breakfast time

Tim:       Morning, campers!
Alice:    Ooh, not so loud, my head's killing me.
Michal:  I'm feel awful too. I've got a pain stomach. My head hurts.....
Tim:       Welcome to your first British hangover Michal! What you need now is a good fry-up.
Alice:     Bleugh! Oh, morning Helen. You look as bad as I feel. Have you been crying?
Helen:    No, no of course not. Just burning the midnight oil studying, studying, studying.
Tim:      So, who's for eggs, beans and toast?
Alice:    Urgh! You really are a pain in the neck sometimes Tim!

Episode 7: Paying the rent

Helen:    Oh no, it's that time of the month again - time to pay the rent.
Tim:       Comes round fast enough, doesn't it?
Alice:     Yeah and I'm so broke just now. I don't know where my money goes.
Tim:       You need to tighten your belt Alice. Well, I'm fairly flush this month, want me to lend you some cash?
Alice:     Tim, would you?
Tim:       Sure, you know me, always willing to help a damsel in distress. There's only one small catch......

Episode 8: The newcomer

Alice:      Hi Michal! Look what I found in a box, near the rubbish bins outside the hospital. Can you believe someone wanted to throw her away! Isn't she adorable?
Michal:   What are you going to call her? How about Bronka? That's a good Polish name.
Alice:      Mm, I think she looks more like a Co-Co...Oh, hi Helen, meet our new flatmate. We just need to find a name for her.
Helen:     Em, I don't think so. You know we're not allowed pets in the flat. It's against the rules.

Episode 9: The favour

Michal:  I'm going to see a film tonight. Will anyone like to come with me?
Alice:    Oh I'd love to Michal but I have to iron all these shirts for Tim.
Helen:    Look, why don't you go with Michal and I'll iron the shirts?
Michal:  Oh Helen, that's so kind of you.
Alice:    But don't you want to go to the cinema too?
Helen:   Yes but I need to study. I'll do the shirts, phone the landlord about keeping the cat and then I'll hit the books.
Alice:    Oh thanks, we owe you. Bye!
Michal: Bye!
Helen:   Oh Cat! What could I do? They seem made for each other.

Episode 10: Choosing a film

Alice:    Oh, what do you fancy seeing? There's Must Love Dogs - a rom-com. Oh I love romantic comedies, don't you? Pride and Prejudice is on - I adore period dramas. You know all those fine ladies and gents from ages ago, long dresses and grand houses. What kind of films do you like - action, adventure, musicals?
Michal:  Films about people living in the future, on other planets.
Alice:     Oh, sci-fi - not really my thing.
Michal:  Well, what about Nightmare on Elm Street? They're showing that again here.
Alice:     No thanks, horror films don't do it for me.
Michal:  Well, why don't you choose?
Alice:     No, you invited me out, you choose.
Michal:  No, I insist.

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The Flatmates Episode 1-5

Episode 1: At the airport
Helen:     What does Michal look like?
Tim:        Well, he's tall and well built. He's got brown eyes and a shaved head.
Helen:     Is he handsome?
Tim:       Of course he is! He's my cousin.
Helen:    And what's he like? Is he like you too?
Tim:       No, he's quite shy really.
Helen:    Oh look! Is that him?
Tim:       Yeah! Michal! Michal! He's crying. I wonder what's wrong

Episode 2: In the flat
Tim:       Alice this is my cousin Michal - our new flatmate. He's really missing his friends.
Alice:     Oh, Michal let me take your mind off that...So, where are you from?
Michal:   From near Warsaw - the Polish capital.
Alice:     Oh, what do you do?
Michal:   I'm a guide tourist.
Alice:     So interesting! Why are you visiting London?
Michal:  To improve my English.
Alice:     Oh, well, why not come out with us now? Then we can cheer you up and you can practise
               your English at the same time.

Episode 3: At the pub
Tim:        It's your round Alice
Alice:     What, again? Alright, what do you all want?
Helen:    An orange juice please.
Michal:  The same for me too.
Tim:       Oh come on Michal, you're not in Poland now. Why not try a traditional pint of English
               bitter?
Michal:  OK then.
Tim:       And the usual for me - a G & T, love
Alice:     Em, OK.
Helen:    Don't call Alice "love".
Tim:       Why not, isn't she lovely? Michal, what do you think?

Episode 4 : Another round
Michal:    She's beautiful.
Alice:      What's wrong with you?
Helen:      Nothing! You know I think Michal really likes you.
Alice:      Don't be daft! He's only being polite.
Helen:     Do you think so?
Alice:     Yes, and why are you so interested all of a sudden?
Helen:    No, no reason really. Look, I've got to get back to the flat, I've got loads of studying to do.
Alice:     Oh relax! The books can wait. Tim's buying the next round. What do you want?

Episode 5: Helen at home
Helen:     Hello?
Mum:      Hello? Helen? It's mum here. How are you my dear? Studying hard? You know how much
                your degree means to your father and me.
Helen:     I was studying before you phoned me! Listen, I need your advice. I'm in love! But he
                doesn't
               even notice me. He only has eyes for Alice. What can I do?
Mum:     Love? Love! There's plenty of time for that later. Get your head out of the clouds and back
               into your books. Do you hear me?
Helen:    Yes, yes mum.

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